Baby, Oh Baby.

I grew up in a large family.  I have tons of brothers, and one lil' sis.  There are seven of us siblings in total.  During the first two weeks of December, over half of us will celebrate a birthday.  (Apparently my parents have a thing for the month of March).  The youngest will be 22 and the oldest will celebrate his 47th.  Even though we were all spread out, I loved being in a large family.   There were are so many wonderful things about it, that the good far outweighs the bad.  I decided years ago that I wanted a large family as well. 

Fast forward to 2009, and I have reached the over-ripe age of 40, and those two munchkins up there looking all cute and yummy?   Those two munchkins are now 15 and 20.  And that is it.  Just 2.  They are my blessings, and someone, somewhere chose to bless me with 2 children.  And no more than that.  I have been OK with that.  Most of the time.  Lately?  Not so much.

I am having yearnings.  My clock is starting to sound its alarm, and I am crumbling in despair.  Why?  Why?  This is what I ask myself.  "Self?  Why are torturing you?  Why do want another child?  Why do you want to start over again?"  I don't have a clear answer for that.  I can't explain it.  Sometimes I think it's my mind's way of denying that I am now in my "40's".  Part of me thinks I want another chance.  Another chance at what?  I've done a damn fine job with my kids, if I do say so myself.  Maybe another chance at doing it absolutely right?  Won't I be a better Mom at 40 than I was at 20 and 25?  Mostly I think it is because being a Mom is all I have ever known.  My baby boy arrived when I was just 19 years old.  I grew up with him.  Being a Mom has defined me for 20 years and I don't know what I will do without being a Mom.  My baby will be off to college in a couple of years and that will be that.

My husband says "You'll still be a Mom forever".  Really?  Really?  Please shut the hell up.  You are not me.  You are not the Mom.  You do not ache to feel a child growing inside of you.  You do not yearn to nurse another hungry tummy.  You do not dream about the infant, toddler, and growing up years.  I want it all again.  I want the good and the bad.  The joys and the heartaches.  The fun and the sleepless nights.  I want.  I want.  I want.

And that my friends is the problem.  HE does NOT want, and want, and want.  

I do.  He doesn't.  End of story.  End of discussion. 

Here I am.  I will love my husband and forgive him for denying me the right to be a Mom again.  I will calm myself and focus my attentions elsewhere and eventually these feelings will fade.  I will be a Mom forever.  I will love those 2 munchkins with all of my heart.  Because they are my blessings, they are my heart,  and they are my very soul.  I will love them and someday?  Someday they will give me grandchildren.  *sigh*

Lordie, Lordie, Look Who's 40!

Happy Birthday Sesame Street!!

Who knew that Sesame Street and I were born the same year?  As far as I knew, Sesame Street had always been there.  I vaguely remember watching as a kid.  However, there were many years that our home was TV-less, so unfortuately Grover and Cookie Monster did not do much forming for me in my formative years.

Oddly enough the most vivid memory of Sesame Street from my childhood was from when I was about 10 years old.  For whatever reason we had a TV repairman in the house (I guess the TV had been reinstated at this point), and he was doing some tweaking to the picture with my brother and I looking on in eager anticipation of a working television.  As the guy is working away, up pops a picture-perfect image of Big Bird, and the repairman turns to my brother and I and says in his best "baby talk" voice:  "Who is that? *gasp* Is that Big Bird?  Do you like Big Bird?"

And we were all "Dude we are 9 and 10 years old,  Big Bird is sooo pre-K".   Obviously the guy didn't have kids.

By the time was son was born in 1989, Sesame Street was celebrating its 20th Birthday.  I can tell you this, Sesame Street was HUGE in my house in the early 90's.  How do you think mommy had time to talk on the phone clean house and cook if not for the magic of the gang from NYC?  My son was hooked.  h.o.o.k.e.d.  When he was a toddler all toys and gifts were Sesame Street related.  Here is a photo of him from Christmas 1990 receiving Dress Me Up Ernie.  From that day forward to be forever known as "Ernie Baby".  He went everywhere with us, and become his best bud.

Ernie-Baby even slept with him at night.  He was propped up on the pillow against the wall as the official bottle holder.  The bottle. Full of orange juice.  Yeah, ok? What was I thinking?  Nothing like letting my two-year old suck on a sugar filled, acid beverage all night long?  Eck. 

Funny thing is, he's got the best teeth ever!  All of his teeth were in at age 8, including his 12 year molars!  He rarely had a cavity growing up and never needed braces either!  Maybe I found the answer to perfect teeth, OJ.  Who knew?

Anyway, here's wishing Sesame Street a very Happy 40th Birthday!

Thank you for teaching my son that spelling, counting, and reading can be fun!

Oh yeah, and watching TV too!

Lizzie, r u ok? r u ok? r u ok Lizzie?

Wow! This has been such a long week for everyone here in our house.  The piglet is finally over her swine flu, but the Mono lingers on.  Did I mention that she had Mono at this same exact time last year?  Methinks someone upstairs is trying to tell us something.  This child needs to slow down!!  She is a good student in the 10th grade, she is a football cheerleader plus she is on the competition squad at school.  Then there is the whole all-star thing.  She dances & cheers competitively and she is at practice for that 4 days per week. 

Yeah, I'd say it's time for her poor little body to sloooow way down. 

Before she fell ill I agreed to take her to the opening of Michael Jackson's new  movie.  THE. OPENING.    As in Tuesday night at Midnight.   "It'll be OK", I said.  "So she sleeps in and gets to school late, or god forbid misses a day of school.  She's a good student.  She can handle it".   Oh how silly of me!  She missed this entire past week of school.  That's 5 days.  What do I do?  Do I take her to the movie on Tuesday, and risk her being exhausted all day Wednesday.  Or do I forfeit the cost of 3 tickets, and break her little heart?   What to do?  What to do?

You see, her hip-hop team is doing an MJ routine this year (no, not because he died. They actually started it in May), and I feel as if this movie would be like a personal dance lesson from Michael himself.  So important for Lizzie and all the kids on her team to see.  Not that we can't go another time, but seriously folks where is the fun in that?

What do you think?  Should I take her, or no? 

karma

So last Thursday I thought I'd be cute and post a funny little comic about swine flu starring the lovable Pooh & Piglet.  I should have known better than to pick on the poor little creatures of Hundred Acre Wood.  They didn't deserve it.  And what do I get for doing that? Well, karma has come around and bit me in the ass.  Or should I say bit my daughter? 

Poor little Lizzie has been struck with the Swine Flu.  Not only does she have that miserable affliction, she ALSO has Mono.  Really?  Really?  The poor kid can't even get her self to the bathroom.  Forget the fact that the grading period ends next week and her grades will most likely take a nose dive, she doesn't even have the energy to watch her beloved Degrassi. 

If I catch swine flu, I will not be a happy camper!!  I've never washed my hands more in my life.  Here's a glass of water. *wash my hands* Let me feel your forehead. *wash my hands*  Time to take your medicine.  *wash my hands* 

Talk about paranoid.  I'm already a germaphobe, now I'm going stir crazy.  Steve walked in the door from work tonight and I smiled from ear to ear as if he'd shown up with chocolates and flowers.  Reinforcements!  Yay!  Please just put me in a bubble and wake me when it's over! 

OK.  Enough about me.  The poor girl is moaning for me from the other room, so mom computer time is over.

Damn pigs!

My 40 days and nights.

The big 4-0 birthday weekend has come and gone. I survived. I made it through the drunken arguments, the redneck fest, my own "it's-my-party-and-I'll-cry-if-I-want-to" pity parties, the audience with the pope, the gorging ourselves with food, and the tattoos.

Wow. Read that sentence again. Sounds like we are just ripe for our own reality TV show over here. Really it's just a fun filled, never without drama, 40th birthday weekend for me. The drunken arguments, redneck fest, and pity parties are stories that will have to wait for another day.

Right now I would like to just say what a wonderful family I have. My husband is a saint and is so loving, my parents and family are so loving and generous, and my kids are the best. I truly feeled blessed to have the family that I do.

Here is a little birthday recap beginning with an audience with the pope.

More like "the pope room" at Bucca di Beppo! You didn't think I had an acutal audience with the pope did you? Yea, I can see how that one would go. "Oh hello your Eminence, bless me father for I have sinned by declaring myself an ex-catholic because I think you are all a bunch of narrow-minded, ritual driven, misogynists that have nothing better to do than throw guilt at little children and condemn to hell those that dont' think like you do. Um, yeah, so I sure do dig your crib."

Wow, did I just say that?

Anyway, Bucca's was as fabulous as ever and the food was scrumptious. Of course I have zero photos of the food cuz once those family style platters hit that over-sized lazy susan it was a Turner family free-for-all. That lazy susan was whipping back and forth, serving spoons were flying, everyone filled their plates, and then there was dead silence for the next 15 minutes. Yea, we like our food and the restaurant did not disappoint.

If you've never been to Bucca di Beppo's, it is an italian restaurant that serves their food family style and is known for their kitchy italian decor. As you can see in the top pic, we were in the "pope room" which is just large enough for a round table that seats approx. 12 people. In the center of the table is a giant "lazy susan" with the pope bust in the center.

The pope approved of my sangria. Yummy!

My beloved Aunts Terri & Mary and my Uncle Ralph:

My Uncle Ed & my little sister Rachael:

My son and his girlfriend lookin all cute:

Me & hubby after I had one too many sangrias:

I love this picture of my parents. The candlelight, the statue on the wall, the peace on their faces. So ethereal. Such treasures.

Here's the hat they all signed with well-wishes and made me wear. No. You wont' be seeing a photo of that.

After dinner Sunday afternoon we went back to my parents' home where I was showered with yummy gifts:

Gorgeous set of dishes from my parents. My current set is from my wedding shower and is so, like, 1990.

My parents also gave me this adorable set of canape plates and serving dish. Now I just need to figure out what the hell a canape is, and how to make it.

A purse from my aunts. How did they know red was my favorite color? And did they dead-on pick my style of purse, or what? Yes! They defintitely did!

Some fun reading material from my Dad. I am such an American Idol junkie. I can't wait to dig into this book.

So we move on to Monday and that passed by like Mondays always do. Work all day, have an hour off and then head to the 2nd job in the evening. Yeah, I prefer not to discuss Mondays. Especially since it involved yet another heated conversation with yet another crazy cheer mom. What is with these trashy women? Again, another story for another day.


Moving on to yesterday, Tuesday, and it's my actual 40th Birthday. Yay! It's here. And I had a GREAT DAY. Of course I worked all day, but once I was off of work my daughter and I headed to Le Nails and I got my nails did. I let Lizzie pick out the color and she chose straight up "O.P.I. Red". It's got "hey big guy, here i am" written all over it. But it is pretty and well, my favorite color is red after all.

When we got home my hubby had the MOST DELICIOUS dinner for me. Ribeye steaks that he grilled outside along with baked potatos and green beans. OK, I can't even begin to describe how delicious his steaks are. Folks, he has a gift. Again, no photos of the dinner, cuz hey, I smell steaks and it's just all over for me.

I did get a shot of the yummy peach pie that he had for dessert. (Note to readers: Peach is my favorite pie. In case, you decide to hit up Ohio and take me out for dessert or something).

After dinner my sister Rachael showed up and brought me this next little bit of heaven.

Hello my precious ones. Come to mama. By the time I got the camera out we had one cupcake gone and 2 half-eaten. The one with pink frosting in the back row was a casata cake. Heloooo!

Then sister Rachael and I headed off to get tattoos. "Girrrl, no you di-ent". "Girrrl, oh yes I di-id". I already have one, but this was sister's first.

We got our last name, Turner, on our foot. Of course there's always a story behind a tattoo, and again that will wait for another post later this week.

So I settled in at midnight last night for my daily Oprah viewing and sighed with contentment and happiness thinking over my wonderful family and my fabulous birthday weekend.

Then my son walks in the door and showers me with this bit of awesomeness:

So today is Wednesday and the birthday has come and gone and it's back to the usual grind. Oh but wait, what was sitting on my front porch covered in dew this morning? It's a sweet bouquet of flowers from my brother Chuck, who got in from the road at midnight last night and made a pit-stop to leave me these:

So that is my birthday extravaganza and it's over and I survived and hey, I got to cross 2 more things off my list (which I'll update later today).

THANK YOU FAMILY! THANK YOU FRIENDS! 40 ISN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL. I AM BLESSED TO HAVE YOU ALL IN MY LIFE. YOU HAVE MADE ME FEEL SO LOVED - AS YOU DO MOST EVERY DAY. LOVE YOU!!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom & me - Damascus, VA - August, 2007

Today I would like to wish my mother a very Happy Birthday! Today is definitely a day to celebrate! What better way to start my day than with a phone call from Mom at 7:30 this morning. I thought something was wrong, Mom is never up that early. Nope, everything was fine. Maybe she was just excited because it was her birthday? She thought I would be up that early because it was my daughter's first day of school. Silly, silly mother. My child is 15 years old and gets up at 6:00 to leave the house by 6:55. Yeah, um, I was definitely still sleeping when she called. However it was great to catch up with her since I just got back from our trip to Philadelphia.

What can I say about my mother? Do you have a couple of hours? No? Ok, then I'll give you the Readers Digest version. My mother is amazing. She always has been, but as any adult child will tell you, one doesn't really begin to fully appreciate their parents until they are adults (or parents) themselves.

My mom knows me better than anyone. I can go to her with anything on my mind or in my heart and she will always tell me truth, always put it in perspective, always delight in my stories, always share adventures with me, always cut me off mid-conversation if I am whining too much. She will always pray for me and with me. She will always give me her point of view and has NEVER butted in with criticism, or been pushy, or tried to tell me how to live my life.

She is wonderful to my husband. He is so blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law, not every guy can say that. He loves her lots even if he teases her all the time. She loves, loves, loves her grandchildren and showers them with her love and kisses.

It seems as if she knows just the right time to give us a push, and just the right time to pull back. Several years ago I must have been whining a lot or been unhappy with life, because she showed up at my house one day with a little window suncatcher (Mary Engelbreit, I think). "Isn't it so cute"? she asked. On the top of it were the words "Snap out of it". So subtle. I didn't even get it at the time, but that's mom gently nudging without coming on too strong.

She is a wonderful wife to my Dad. He's a lucky guy too. And I know he loves and appreciates her as much, if not more, than I do. She is the mother of 7. She has wonderful relationships with all of us and is always there when we need her. She has selflessly taken care of a sibling that has needed extra help in life, and for all she's done for and with him, I consider her a Saint.

She touches everyone that is blessed enough to have her in their life. I've never known anyone with as many friends as her. I've even had a couple of girlfriends that want Mom to be their freind too. "Your mom is so nice & sweet". I've heard that my entire life and it is so very, very true.

I love you Mom. You are my mother, my dearest friend, and I treasure you with all of my heart.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Stephanie

Yo Adrienne!

Well, I have been busy this week. Amish country last weekend (FYI - Never go to Amish country on a Sunday. It is the "Lord's Day" and everything, I mean EVERYTHING is closed), working all week, and now after I get home from work tonight I have to rush to do load of laundry and pack for hubby and I. The 2 of us along with Lizzie are heading to the City of Brotherly Love. Which I guess is appropriate since we will be visiting hubby's brother and his family. I will try not to get in the way of all of the brotherly love that will be flying everywhere. At least if the city lives up to its moniker.

So I will be gone for a long weekend. I'll be back on Tuesday. So please my faithful 4 (or 5) don't miss me too much. I really won't be gone much longer that my self-imposed exile of last weekend. At least this time my absence is for a good reason and not just because I am kooky.

I am just rambling on and on avoiding the 3 baskets of laundry that are awaiting me and the ironing board (wait till I get my hands on the someone that turned off the wrinkle control on the dryer).

I am now off for Philadelphia where I will try to cross off the more obvious items on my "39 Before 40" list. Later.

A Beautiful Life

As I approach 40 I find myself yearning more and more for family. When spending time with the elder members of the family they seem to all share the same sentiment: "Isn't it nice to have the family together?" or "These are my favorite times, when we can all be together". Why is it that we usually hear those words coming from the elderly? Are they the only ones that care to voice it? Maybe they are the only ones that take the time to stop and think about it and enjoy it most? But then again aren't they the ones that actually have the time to stop and think about it?

I believe that as we marry, raise families, and make our path in the world, we are just too dang busy. Simplify. This is such a beautiful word to me. Can't we all just simplify? Of course we have to work, and raise kids, and do all the things that come along with all of that. But that, I believe, is what takes away from the importance of living.

Sometimes I think we just need to stop and move slower and with more purpose. Is that a contradiction? Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and relive my children's younger days. I would not have rushed as much. I would have listened to every little story. I would have played more on the floor. I would have marveled at the world together a little more. Hurry up and rush to get them off to school, rush to do homework, rush to make dinner so we can get in bed on time, so we get a good nights sleep, so we can have the energy to get up tomorrow and rush through that day! Ugh!

I want to reach back in time and tell myself, "STOP. SLOW DOWN! Don't you know they grow up so quickly?" Before you know it they are young women and men, and your time with them is gone. They are still around, but are they present? Was I present?

I believe the elderly love to be surrounded by family because by this age they have truly realized the importance in life. It is moments, people, loved ones, experiences. Relax about the school project, your financial portfolio, your Booster meeting, your deadlines. When we reach the golden years of life, none of that will matter. We will not think to ourselves "Wow, thank God I had dinner on the table every night", or "Whew! I'm glad I payed my bills on time".

What we will really be thinking about are the people in our lives. We will remember our experiences with loved ones, parents, children, grandchildren. We will treasure those times & forever wish we had more of those times.

Why not stop and enjoy those days now? Why not slow down, simplify, capture each moment in our heart like a flash of a camera captures a slice of life? Live those moments, love that family, treasure the unity.

This is what I wish for myself and my children. I wish to live each moment to the fullest, and sometimes it is so damn hard to do! But I don't want to go on and on when I am 78 about how it's so nice to finally have the family all together. I want to live it now, love them now. Once life is gone, it is sooo gone. There is no going back. There is no way to capture it again. There is no rewind button.

Grab it.

Experience it.

Love it.

Live it.

Make this a beautiful life.

Thank you to Melissa at The Inspired Room for reminding us to always strive to live a beautiful life.

locks of love

This is my neice Emily. She is 9 years old, and yesterday was the second time in her young life that she decided that her long hair should go to better use. She decided to cut it all off and give her hair to someone that needed it more.

Emily wanted to donate her hair to Locks of Love.

Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. We meet a unique need for children by using donated hair to create the highest quality hair prosthetics. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair
due to a medical condition called alopecia areata, which has no known cause or cure. The prostheses we provide help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence, enabling them to face the world and their peers.

~from Locks of Love website.

So yesterday afternoon I took Emily and her three cousins to see Ree, our favorite hairdresser. What girls don't like a day at the salon?

Although, they did get a little restless and goofy while waiting:

Here is Emily right before Ree did the deed:

GOING.....GOING......

GONE!!!??!!!

Now some more trimming to give her that cute little bob:

Here is Emily proud of her new "do" and her "ready to donate" locks.

Here is Emily and her bestie/cousin Gabriella, who also gave her long tresses to Locks of Love a few months ago:

If you or someone you know is interested in Locks of Love, please click on the logo below for all the infomation you may need: