Things that make you go hmmmm....

Last night while working at a certain Cheer/Dance gym, one of my duties included getting parents to sign a permission slip for an upcoming competition. 

When practice was over I said to a particular cheer girl, "CheerGirl, go tell your mom she needs to come in from the parking lot to fill out these forms". 

Five minutes later little CheerGirl returns and says, "My mom can't come in to fill them out".  Okaaay?  "Then here are the forms and a pen, please have her fill them out in the car and then you bring them back to me".

Five minutes later CheerGirl reappears with completed forms.

Ten minutes later we get a call from said Cheer Mom.  "I'm calling to explain why I didn't come in".   "That's OK", we told her, "we figured you were in your PJs or your hair wasn't done".  "No", she says, "I couldn't come in because I was wearing white socks and crocs".

Huh?

And here is a "completely unrelated to my story" picture of my Christmas Tree.  Just because everybody likes a photo.

Peace out, Girl Scout

Yep, it's that time again.  I am leaving for the weekend to attend a cheerleading/dance competition.  As I divulged a few posts back....I am a crazy cheer mom.  Well, you probably guessed the crazy part already!  Duh! 

So have a great weekend, hope you do something fun for yourselves.  Me?  I will spend 2 full days in a convention center listening to the heart thumping, headache inducing music that is a cheer routine.

So you dont' feel left out, here is a little view into my world:






Have a great weekend! 
Be back Monday!

Lizzie, r u ok? r u ok? r u ok Lizzie?

Wow! This has been such a long week for everyone here in our house.  The piglet is finally over her swine flu, but the Mono lingers on.  Did I mention that she had Mono at this same exact time last year?  Methinks someone upstairs is trying to tell us something.  This child needs to slow down!!  She is a good student in the 10th grade, she is a football cheerleader plus she is on the competition squad at school.  Then there is the whole all-star thing.  She dances & cheers competitively and she is at practice for that 4 days per week. 

Yeah, I'd say it's time for her poor little body to sloooow way down. 

Before she fell ill I agreed to take her to the opening of Michael Jackson's new  movie.  THE. OPENING.    As in Tuesday night at Midnight.   "It'll be OK", I said.  "So she sleeps in and gets to school late, or god forbid misses a day of school.  She's a good student.  She can handle it".   Oh how silly of me!  She missed this entire past week of school.  That's 5 days.  What do I do?  Do I take her to the movie on Tuesday, and risk her being exhausted all day Wednesday.  Or do I forfeit the cost of 3 tickets, and break her little heart?   What to do?  What to do?

You see, her hip-hop team is doing an MJ routine this year (no, not because he died. They actually started it in May), and I feel as if this movie would be like a personal dance lesson from Michael himself.  So important for Lizzie and all the kids on her team to see.  Not that we can't go another time, but seriously folks where is the fun in that?

What do you think?  Should I take her, or no? 

Country Jam (aka Drunk Fest)

Last weekend I volunteered to oversee the high school cheerleaders while they were working the Country Jam. This is a huge all-day country music concert sponsored by the local country music radio station and held at the county fairgrounds.

Let's analyze what I just said: 1) country music, 2)all-day, 3)concert. Listen y'all, I know how to add and last Saturday 1+2+3= drunken rednecks.

Country Jam, 2009

Wow. I thought there were a lot of drunks when we worked the Oktoberfest a few weeks ago. The lederhosen wearing germans have nothing on the barechested, boot-wearing, CowboyHat-donning country music fans. Those folks can drink!

Oktoberfest 2009

Fortunately for the cheerleaders they worked the Lemonade Stand all day for a fundraiser. And they were slammed. They were so busy squeezing lemons, scooping sugar, and shaking drinks that they did not have enough time to go and mingle in the crowd.

While working this stand there were mainly 3 types of people that bought lemonade: 1) Those that don't drink, 2) Designated Drivers, and 3) Drunks who have somehow realized that just one more beer might not be such a good idea.

That was our main customer base until about 4 or 5 hours into our shift when we (the cheerleaders and I) were accosted by "crazy, drunken mom". Hereafter we will refer to her as "CDM". This woman appeared out of nowhere and in a drunken tirade proceeded to call each girl at the booth a different unflattering name (bitch, whore, slut, tramp, just to name a few). All while pointing her finger in each of their faces one by one. Wha? Huh? I responded in what I felt was like slow motion, leaping in front of the girls (my daughter included, did I mention that?) with arms outstretched, prepared to do battle.

I am not a confrontational person. I can be moody and a bit cuckoo at times, but I am not known to engage in screaming matches (ahem, unless it's my hubby or kids - sorry guys). But here is a little taste of what happened in front of the cheerleaders and a crowd of, oh I don't know, about 100 people give or take a few.

Me: Stop! Stop! These are just girls here. You can't talk to them that way!

CDM: Well, these girls are a bunch of bitches. And I hope you girls know that I can't stand any of you. You are all little tramps.

Me: I said Stop! I'm sorry you will have to leave. You are a grown adult and you should not be talking to children this way. Please go away so these girls can do their job. Go have another beer and enjoy the concert.

CDM: I am 47 years old and I'll do what I want. You give me a call sometime honey and I will tell you about these girls. (Apparently her daughter goes to school with all of the girls. Her daughter by the way is fine with these girls). They are sluts and bitches!

Me: If you are 47 years old you need to start acting like an adult and stop this. We are not in high school anymore and you need to start acting more mature.

Oh Snap!

CDM: (backing up about 10 feet and screaming for all to hear) You wanna come out here and say that to me bitch?

WHA??????

CDM: You come out here and we'll settle this. Let's go. Come on.

Me: I am not interested in fighting you.

CDM: You don't have the BALLS to fight me.

Me: (Pretty much in agreement with that last intelligent statement). I am not going to fight you. I am an adult and I didn't do this when I was 22 and I'm not going to do this now.

CDM: You're not WOMAN enough to fight me!

Woooow! Did she just say that?

Me: (Really ticked and a bit confused) No! I am just not TRASHY enough to fight you!!

Oh Snap! Yeah, through her drunken haze she realized she didn't like that particular little insult. I was gearing up. I was on a roll. I was gonna let her really have it!

Me: I am going to call security if you don't leave right now!

She spewed forth a few more pleasantries in our general direction and then stumbled off into the night. Wow! Did that just happen? I was shaking, and glad it was over. Did I mention that the guy grilling the food in the other half of our tent watched the entire thing. Then after she left he had the nerve to chastise me for speaking to her. I should have just ignored her. Yeah, OK, and let her stand their vomiting up insults and accusations at a group of 15 year old girls? I dont' think so!

Did I also mention that a couple of my girls threw those insults right back at her? Yeah, in the midst of trying to get her to go away, I had to hold back and try to silence a couple of the girls. Yikes! Apparently everyone (and their mothers) have already have had dealings with this mother. They knew all about her, have had experiences with her, and generally agree that she is CRAZY!!

So there you have it. My drunken redneck fest. Turns out that the rednecks were harmless, amusing drunks and that a crazy high-school mother was the one causing all of the fuss.

Unless you count the drunken 60 year old man in the Hooters t-shirt who asked me which one of the girls he could @#*!

Yeah, I think we will stick to carwashes and coupon books in the future.

(Disclaimer: The term redneck is only used with the utmost love and respect, seeing as how half my family and my best girlfriend fall into that category. Later y'all. I'm fixin to go to bed now.)

7 Quick Takes Friday - vol.2

~1~

I went "Garage Sale-ing" today. My first Friday of the season to venture out and pay money for other people's castoffs. I love it! I took my parents with me which made it even more fun. We found some great deals. I got a great crockpot at a steal. I have one already, but now I have a large one with the pot that comes out for easy storing and washing. Yea! My mom found some gorgeous silk window valances. I can't wait to see them up on her windows. My other little find was a little child's stepstool which I will use to put a flower pot on once I add it to my list of items to paint black this weekend. My favorites are estate sales but we didn't have any of those today. At least we have the rest of the summer.

~2~

MEMO TO: Elderly people, people that walk slow either with cane, limp, or some sort of ailment, or just slow walkers in general: PLEASE do not walk down the center of the lane in a parking lot. I love you all and have no problem being patient and waiting for you to cross the aisle going to or from your vehicle. BUT PLEASE do not walk down the center of the lane. There is nothing more annoying when running "quick" errands than to have to sit in a parking lot and wait for someone to walk ever so slowly ALL THE WAY UP THE CENTER OF THE AISLE TO GET TO THE STORE. Just cross the aisle & get it over with PLEASE.

~3~

Am I the only one that has noticed that when you click on "Next Blog" at the top of the Blogger page, you always get a blog in a foreign language? Or does this just happen to me? Go ahead give it a try, at the very top of my blog click on "next blog" and 9 times out of 10 you will either get a blog in a foreign language or a blog that is all technical with World of Warcraft gibberish. Talk about annoying!

~4~

My daughter's Cheer/Dance tryouts were last week, and Yea! she made the Level 5 cheer team and also 3 dance teams. The High School tryouts were the same week and she also made Football Cheerleading and Competition Squad. All of which will be for naught if she doesn't do something quick about that failing grade in English!

~5~

American Idol. Yea Kris!!! I am thrilled beyond words that Kris Allen won AI. Yes, I know the judges and all of America are in love with the over-theatrical, screeching Eddie Munster wannabe, but obviously not ALL of America, cuz the votes were cast, and Kris is the winner. Again I say it, YEA!

~6~

On Tuesday's finale Adam Lambert sang "Mad World" which was a song on the Donnie Darko soundtrack. This movie is about an extremly troubled teenager who among other things has disaster plans for his high school. And there is Adam singing on stage in a trenchcoat, a la Columbine. Just sayin' is all.

~7~

My last two posts were about Adam Lambert, which goes to show that even though he wasn't my first pick to win Idol along with more than 1/2 the AI voters, he is the only one we can't stop talking about. Things that make you go hmmm......

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol.1)

~ 1 ~

This week was Audition Week at my daughter's allstar gym. She has decided to be on "only" 4 teams this year instead of 5. Which will make things easier for her? She is now moving up to the Level 5 team, which means she needs to start busting out with a "full twisting layout" pretty tootin quick. She has turned into an amazing dancer (in my non-biased mom opinion) and will be on 3 dance teams. Only 3 weeks off from practice and they are back at it on Monday. This is pretty much our life.

~ 2 ~

Update on my post "She's been known to kill small animals": Elmyra was over the other day with her little kitten. My daughter runs in and tells me that Elmyra has trained the cat to look at her and meow on command. She holds the cat up in the air under the front arms and she says "DO IT, look at me, look at me" and the cat will Meow. Then she says "DON'T DO IT, look at me, look at me" and the cat does nothing. "Mom you have to see this!", my daughter excitedly tells me. Sure enough the cat would meow when Elmyra said "Do It" and remain silent when she said "Don't Do It". Well it only took me about 15 seconds to get to the bottom of her magical powers: SHE IS PRESSING HER THUMBS INTO THE CATS LARYNX EACH TIME SHE WANTS THE CAT TO "DO IT". Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh!!! More animal torture. What cat wouldn't meow when having human thumbs pressed into it's throat!?

~ 3 ~

My son has been growing out his facial hair for quite some time now. He looks like lumberjack guy, with the scruffy face and moustache. It was in the overgrown stage, but not quite the actual beard & moustache stage. This basically means he looked like a bum. I kept asking him when he was going to shave it. Well, apparently he did Wednesday night, a fact that I failed to notice as I conversed with him before he left for work yesterday. Oooops. I received a tweet yesterday afternoon that says "I look 13 with my face clean shaven". What? Bad Mama! I bugged him and bugged him to shave and then didn't even notice. Bad Mama!

~ 4 ~

Please say a prayer for my bestfriend Stacy. She is having quite a "rollercoaster of emotion" week. On Wednesday we attended her Pinning Ceremony. She just graduated from nursing school (no small feat) and is now an RN. Her school graduation is this coming Saturday so it's been a great week in that respect. However, her grandmother passed away yesterday morning and having just recently lost both of my grandmothers, my heart goes out to her. Like I said, tough week, highs and lows.

~ 5 ~

I want a treadmill!!! Hubby won't buy me one, something about money and all (just kidding honey). I know we can't get one right now, but it's the only thing I want. I have myself convinced that all the hours I spend late at night or early in the morning catching up on all my damn reality tv would be much better spent on the treadmill instead of with my fat ass on the sofa. Ugh!

~ 6 ~

One word: LOST! Or should I say LOMGST!! Best season finale yet. I don't have much to say since I am still speechless and trying to process that action-packed episode. I really need to go back and watch it again and make sense of it all. I know I could just head on out to the ole' internet and get everything I want (and do not want) to know, but I think I'll watch it again and do some supposing on my own.

~ 7 ~

Comments. Why does no one leave me any comments on my posts? Maybe there are less people reading than I thought? Or maybe my posts aren't as catchy as my brain imagines that they are? People, leave me comments! I need some feedback. I know I am a new blogger, but a little feedback (good or bad) would be nice. Much Love!

The Day After.....

My daughter is a dancer, my daughter is a cheerleader. She puts in 16 hours per week at the practice gym. Not to mention all of the competition weekends, travel, uniforms, etc. I think you get the not-so-pretty picture, it's basically sucking up the money that would like to become our "life savings". Hence the part-time job 2 nights a week at the "gym". The only way to let my daughter be the dancer/cheerleader/athlete that she yearns to be.

One of the evenings I work at the gym is Wednesday, otherwise known as LOSTday. This is so not cool. I do all I can to get out of there on time and rush home to my waiting husband who is kind enough to keep his weary head from hitting the pillow just so we can get LOST together. This can be added to my list of favorite things: sittin' with my hubby on the couch getting lost in LOST.

Which leads me to last night's episode: A HACKIN' RECAP EPISODE !! Ugh! One of my guilty pleasures stripped from me. I rushed through the door, got situated on the couch with hubby, activated the DVR (otherwise known as the best invention thus far in the 21st century), only to find out that we have to endure another Recap. episode. "Noooooooooooo!". Needless to say hubby lasted 10 minutes, then left for bed, and I was left to doze off on my own, listening to a narrator tell me stuff I am already quite well aware of, thank you very much.

So in the absence of new LOST tidbits to share with you, I will instead share with you another one of my guilty pleasures, gazing at Sawyer from LOST.
Enjoy.