Aug 15, 2009

I'm out like a hobbit.

Much to the chagrin of my family I have been in a quiet mood lately. By quiet I mean moody, contemplative, and restless. Not my usual self. I find myself wanting to journal about all of these thoughts and feeling rambling around in my head. However, I find myself holding back. Why hold back? Well, my journal of choice these days is the lovely blog. This is ideally where I can spill my thoughts, share my ideas, and just let it all hang out.

So what's the problem? Well the problem is that I have 3 regular readers (that I know of). Sure I get comments from random strangers and an especially nice "Amanda" that I have never met. But basically my faithfuls consist of a) a co-worker - and there's that whole pesky work vs. personal life thing to hold me back, and b) my husband & mother - I mean can you really just let it all flow knowing that they are reading your every thought? Not at the risk of offending one of them, or hurting someone's feelings, or getting questioned on your feelings, or teased for a goofy comment. I really just want a place to let all the shit hang out. I suppose ideally that would be with paper & pen under lock and key. But my hand doesn't flow as fast as my mixed up mind, and the typing comes more natural to me. So what to do, what to do?

I can't honestly say I'll be back at Ready, Set, 40 for awhile. If you are really craving my blogness, you'll just have to visit my shiny, happy blog. The one where I go on & on about my home, and love of decorating, and fun field trips, and don't blather on and on about things that make no sense and are just rumblings of my soul.

These things will remain in my head, or in my heart, and I will sort them out through thought and contemplation rather than through keyboard & blog.

And in the words of the endearing Bilbo Baggins, "I regret to announce, this is the end. I'm going now - I bid you all a very fond farewell".


Amanda said...

I care about you. I pray for you.

I want you to feel comfortable in your own blog.

But its hard to bear your heart on a public blog when you dont feel comfortable doing it with your mom or hubby, then to have them read it here... well, can anyone say awkward?

If you ever want to chat, email me. If you ever want an extra special prayer... or just MORE of me. If you ever want to talk, I will give you my number so you can call me.

You are just to valuable for me to just say, "Oh ok. You can go away for awhile if you want. see ya later." You are needed here! Your words are appreciated! Your talents are amazing!

Your deppest thoughts...even though filtered... are welcome.

I hope you will be back soon...