We are the Variable

So having survived last week's recap episode , I was glad to be back with my beloved LOST last night. This show just seems to get more intense as the season goes on. Each episode is full of the precious answers we have longed for, and yet leaves us with more questions.

Answers: Desmond survives after being shot by Ben, Charles Widmore is Daniel Faraday's father, Eloise Hawkins (Dan's mom) was a Hostile, Eloise kills her son Daniel in the 1970's before he was even born (time travel dude, keep up).

Questions: If Eloise knew she would some day kill her son, why did she push him towards his "destiny" and why did she insist he go to island knowing she would be his murderer? Daniel says there is a catastrophe about to occur within hours. If that is true, why doesn't everyone on the island die when it happens? How can I possibly keep up with everything going on with Daniel? How many times has he gone back and forth in time, or to the island? I find it easier to follow Locke's storyline than Daniel's these days.

Brilliant Predictions: Jack & Kate inform Eloise of Daniel's ramblings and convince her to follow through on Daniel's plan to somehow avert the impending "hatch" catastrophe and therefore negate everything that has gone on these past 5 seasons. Season 6 (the final season) will be the story of our castaways told as if the plane never crashed and they had actually landed in L.A. My guess is that they would all come together anyway. Why? It is their destiny.

Alas, we have but 2 episodes left in the season and then it will be the interminable wait until January 2010.

1 Down, 1 To Go

Yesterday was a mile stone for me: my son's 20th birthday. 20 years, 2 decades. Holy cow! How did that happen? When did he become a man? Am I really that old? And the real question is how the heck have I survived twenty years as a parent? As he enters his 20th year and I enter my 40th, we are both beginning a new phase in life, with one major difference. I have no choice but to move forward into my forties, and he apparently hasn't quite made the decision to move into adulthood yet. He is stuck in "I just graduated high school" limbo and he has been there for almost 2 years. I am anxious to see the adult he will become. I am waiting for him to give up the "going nowhere" part time job and think about his future, think about education, think about anything beyond playing the guitar and his girlfriend. At what age does a parent finally say, "OK, you haven't found yourself yet so let me help you out with that"? At what age do we show a little tough love and kick his ass out the door into the real world? I am tired of reminding him to clean his room, and wash his dishes, and pick up his shit off the basement floor. (I think he might become one of those husbands that is a messy slob who expects his wife to pick up after him, or maybe she will get more courtesy than I)? It is time to grow up.

Then I realize that is just what I have been dreading all of these years: my kids growing up. I do love that he is home and I can see him everyday. The other moms are at home hoping their kids are OK on a college campus far away. I love the fact that he is well-behaved, has never gotten into any trouble, is respectful, loving, and just an amazing kid! I know he will in fact be a wonderful husband some day because he is loving, caring, thoughtful, very patient, and he CAN COOK! For all my complaining about his lack of motivation to move into adulthood, I am thrilled that he is still at home with me. He's a great kid and I am so proud of him. He has grown from a little boy into an adult and I am proud to call him my son and my friend.

I love you sweetie. Happy 20th Birthday.

Mom

The Day After.....

My daughter is a dancer, my daughter is a cheerleader. She puts in 16 hours per week at the practice gym. Not to mention all of the competition weekends, travel, uniforms, etc. I think you get the not-so-pretty picture, it's basically sucking up the money that would like to become our "life savings". Hence the part-time job 2 nights a week at the "gym". The only way to let my daughter be the dancer/cheerleader/athlete that she yearns to be.

One of the evenings I work at the gym is Wednesday, otherwise known as LOSTday. This is so not cool. I do all I can to get out of there on time and rush home to my waiting husband who is kind enough to keep his weary head from hitting the pillow just so we can get LOST together. This can be added to my list of favorite things: sittin' with my hubby on the couch getting lost in LOST.

Which leads me to last night's episode: A HACKIN' RECAP EPISODE !! Ugh! One of my guilty pleasures stripped from me. I rushed through the door, got situated on the couch with hubby, activated the DVR (otherwise known as the best invention thus far in the 21st century), only to find out that we have to endure another Recap. episode. "Noooooooooooo!". Needless to say hubby lasted 10 minutes, then left for bed, and I was left to doze off on my own, listening to a narrator tell me stuff I am already quite well aware of, thank you very much.

So in the absence of new LOST tidbits to share with you, I will instead share with you another one of my guilty pleasures, gazing at Sawyer from LOST.
Enjoy.

She's been known to kill small animals.

So as I approach 40 my biological clock is winding down. I did have a brief moment of insanity a few months ago when I was yearning for yet another offspring to come forth from my womb. I must offer a sincere apology to my hubby who probably thought his crazy wife couldn't get any nuttier - he about had a heart attack! My "I want another baby" phase lasted about 2 weeks, and then I came back down to reality. The reality that I will be a youthful 42 when my youngest graduates high school. WooHoo! But for those brief 2 weeks I dreamt of having a baby (It's a girl!), and even dreamt of her name: Jensen. (which my teenage son so heartlessly informed me the next day is the name of an electronics company. Whatever!).

Once I realized that a new baby is not the direction my life should be going- I shifted my maternal instincts to the next best thing - a new kitten! I already have 2 cats, Josie (as in "the pussycats") and Ozzy (as in Osbourne) - both named by my daughter. I have wanted a kitten for a while now and have been hounding the hubby. Of course he doesn't want one. But just because he is in charge of the litter box, the A.M. feedings, and gets a cat between his feet while he sleeps at night, he thinks we can't handle another cat. Whatever! I want a gray one, male, shorthair, must be a kitten.

So this past Friday when I picked up my brother and my neice from the auto repair shop, they climbed into my minivan with 2 new, gray kittens. BASTARD! Is he trying to torture me? OMG! They are so cute, blue eyes and all. Which leads me to the point of my animal torture story - my 8 year old neice. She's so excited to have kittens. She can't wait for me to meet them, "The girl is mine and the boy is my sister's," she informs me. She proceeds to reach into the cat carrier, grab up the 6 1/2 week old kitten with rough hands, whack it's head on the way out of the cage, and love it, manhandle it, and never let it go! The cat lover in me was freaking out! "Be careful honey, she's just a tiny baby, you need to be very, very gentle with her". Needless to say that poor kitten was "loved" all the way home, and didn't stop meowing once.

I am now having visions back to my daughter's preschool days watching Tiny Toon Adventures, "I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever (and never use you up)". (As said by Elmyra Duff while squeezing her cat, Furrball, to death).

Fast forward 2 days. My brother and I are alone playing with kittens on his basement floor.


Me: "You really need to keep an eye on her. She's a little rough with the kittens".

Brother: "Do you think so"?

Me: "She whacked it's head, and she flops it around like it's a hackin Webkinz!".

Brother: "Well, she does have a history of killing small animals".

Me: (freaking out) "What the heck are you talking about?"

Brother: "You know, she's killed several hamsters or gerbils by holding them too tight and loving them too much".

Me: "If my precious neice kills a kitten, I may never look at her the same way again!"

Brother: "I guess I should talk to her, maybe?"

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???




Elmyra Duff, complete with hamster skull on hair bow.

The Day After....

So today is Thursday, which means if you tried to contact me yesterday evening you most likely would not have reached me. Why? Hello!! Wedensday is "LOST Day". I was busy watching my beloved LOST. So I decided that each Thursday I will share my thoughts on the latest episode. Last nights episode: "Hoth" - just love all the Star Wars references.
So Dr. Chang is Miles' father - yea, I kinda guessed that last week. But how weird to see him watching his Dad read him a book as a baby (for those not in the know, the Losties are now 30 years in the past on the island).
What is with Ben's father? Now we see what screwed Ben up as a child. I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of him and he'll have some other role in all of this.
Miles' back story was good but pretty predictable. So he talks to dead people, we already knew that. Although it was pretty cool to see him approached by Naomi and offered the spot on the expedition team.
Interesting dynamic playing out between Kate, Sawyer, Jack and Juliet - what a love quadrangle we have going there.
The guys in the van that tried to get Miles - who were they working for? Ben? And if so, how did Ben even know about Miles?
Lastly I missed not seeing 2 of my favorite characters last night - Sayid and Locke.
Well, those are my ramblings on last night's LOST episode, which I realize will make no sense to anyone not watching. Yet I ramble on.

Happiness is......

.......Being a front row spectator to your mother & her siblings trying to determine the amount of edible items given in the "12 Days of Christmas". Most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time. I highly recommend it to anyone.

Myrtle Beach, 3/09

This photo was taken from our room on the 12th floor of the Hotel Breakers. I am in awe each time I see this photo. It reminds me how great and impressive our Earth really is. And this is just a fraction of the ocean. My daughter & her girlfriends look like tiny specks of sand on this tiny stretch of the eastern seaboard, with the entire Atlantic at our doorstep.
I'll say it again: awe-inspiring.

It's Friday Fhoto Finish Fiesta over at Candid Carrie's.

lordie, lordie, looks who's 40.

Today is my hubby's birthday. The Big 4-0. I wonder if he feels any different. I tried to ask him about it last night, you know, just to compare notes. I got the usual "i don't know". When pressed a little further, I got a sarcastic "what do you want me to say? My life is half over, or maybe more than half over?" Well, I guess we know how he feels now.

All kidding aside, I want to wish my love a very Happy Birthday. He deserves it, he has put up with me since we were 18. Which means for more than half of his life. Hmm, based on our recent conversation that's a negative thing right? Hmmm.... Anyway I just want to say he is the most wonderful man ever. He loves me like crazy, treats me like a princess, and I love his sense of humor. You might have lived half your life baby, but we have so much more to go and I look forward to every day with you.

Say Hello to my little Peep.

So, I am trying to be good about what I eat, cuz let's face it, I got a little extra sumthin', sumthin' goin on. Yet, here I sit on Holy Thursday stuffing my mouth with pink peeps. Of course I bought them for the baskets, but just knowing they are up in that closet, I have no control. I can hear them peeping at me from down here in my office, and I must answer their call.

Of course it has been a year since I had them last, so I don't even have the patience to eat them properly. And everyone knows that the proper way to eat a peep is to open the package, let it sit for a few hours, and eat them when they get a little "stale" goin on. You know, they get a little hard around the outside? Yea, you are cravin the peep now aren't ya?? It's OK to admit it - it's 4 days before Easter. We have a free pass for the peeps. At least that's what I tell myself.

Over the Hill

Well, this is the year I turn 40. Yes, I was born in the "Summer of Love", the "Summer of '69". I have essentially lived half my life and have half to go. I'm in the middle and kinda liking it, yet still need to figure it out. The first half of my adult life has been Stephanie The Mom, or as I like to say, the Mominator. From the time I was 18 this is what I have known and all I have known. Yes I have worked, and yes I have a husband, but basically I am a Mom. What will I do when my little chickies fly the nest? My entire adult life has been dedicated to caring for them. And frankly this frightens me a bit.

At times I want to say I have done nothing with my life but be a mom. Then other times I want to say Wow! Look at what I have done! I have these 2 amazing creatures that I gave birth to and have raised and have been "so far, so good". I love the teenagers that they have become and can honestly say, "well done mom". Don't get me wrong they are not perfect, and neither am I. But they are happy, well adjusted, safe, intelligent, respectful, and loving. Not to mention they are frickin hilarious. Crackin me up every day.

Time has gone by so fast. I look at moms my age with little kids and I get teary-eyed. How the hell does the time fly by so fast? Why didn't I take more video? Why didn't I write it all down? Why can't I remember what his 6-year old voice sounds like? Why can't I recall her first word?? UGH! Come back little ones!

THEN........ I realize that when my daughter turns 18 I will be 42 years old. HELL YEA!! Wouldn't have it any other way. My life is at the half-way point, but it will be like a new beginning at the same time. I don't need to worry about a mid-life crisis, I can do what I want, and be "anew" Stephanie. Now I don't mean that I will suddenly put on a leather coat and climb onto a Harley, but I could if I wanted to. I will be the same old Stephanie, but with new challenges, experiences, freedoms, goals, dreams, and outlook on life. My husband better hold on and join me for the ride!!

Now I get it: "Over the Hill". I have climbed the hill. The journey was great up the hill, but I have reached the half way point of my life, and it is all downhill from here, and I plan to be sittin in the front seat, with my hands in the air, screaming and laughing the whole way down. WooHoo!!!!!!!!